


Finding You

by Trench_Coat_Angels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 8 year old nova, Angst, Disappearance, Feels, Finding You, Fluff, Ice Cream, M/M, Married! Cas and Dean, Memory Loss, Missing!Cas, Nova is cas and dean's daughter, OC's - Freeform, Parent! Cas, Parent! Dean, Pink Roses, Supernova Series, flash backs, ice cream man! cas, kiss, mechanic! Dean, puns, street market, supernova
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2018-11-12 18:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11167686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trench_Coat_Angels/pseuds/Trench_Coat_Angels
Summary: Dean had the life he'd always wanted. He had Cas as wonderful husband, and a baby girl named Nova. They lived happily together until one day Cas disappeared from their lives, leaving Dean with millions of questions, no answers, a broken heart, and a daughter to raise on his own. But what happens when Cas shows up again, five years later, with no clue who Dean and Nova are?(PLEASE READ AUTHORS NOTE)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for stopping by! If you feel like you've read this before, you probably have. Let me explain. I am the original author of this story, but I've just switched accounts! The author you read this under before was a pseudo on one of my friends accounts. I'm just moving all of my fanfiction to this one! So please don't accuse me of stealing! If you don't think I'm being honest, feel free to contact my friend. I'll link her account at the end of the fic (Read some her stuff while you're there. She's an absolutely amazing writer!)
> 
> This is an alternate AU for the Supernova series, it's the same idea just changed. Drastically. The basic framework that is consistant throughout all of my Supernova fanfics is that Dean and Cas are married, they are happy when they're together, and that they have Nova.
> 
> If you're new here please enjoy! R&R please, it really helps inspire me to write!
> 
> I only own the OC's, nothing else!

“Carry on my wayward so-o-n…”

I groaned as my alarm went off. I love the song, but it’s seriously too early in the morning for anything. Period.

“Daddy! You can’t hit snooze again or we’ll be late!” A voice rang from the doorway. I held my head up groggily to look at my daughter.

“How many times have I pressed it?”

“This would be the third. Please get up Daddy, I’ll get in trouble at school if we’re late again.” The 8-year-old begged as she tugged on my arm to get me out of bed. I chuckled in spite of myself.

“Okay, baby girl. You won't be late today. Let me get dressed and we’ll be on our way. I have the day off today so maybe we can do something fun after school?” I suggested hoarsely as I scrambled my way out of bed and into my closet.

“Okay Daddy!”

Nova skipped out of the room as I pulled out my weekend clothes. I quickly slipped on my shoes and went to the bathroom to comb my hair and brush my teeth. I then quickly made my way down the stairs just in time to see Nova pull the lunch I had packed the night before out of the fridge.

“Come on baby girl, the bus is almost here.” I said. Her eyes widened and she grabbed her backpack from the kitchen.

“Bye Dad!” She said as she flew past, but I grabbed her before she could get out the door. She stopped and looked at me. I handed her the homework she had left on the counter before hoisting her up onto my shoulders and carrying her out to the bus stop.

“Daddy! I can see the bus, let’s hurry!” She squealed. I started to break into a mad dash to the bus stop at the corner. I got there just as the last kid started climbing up the steep stairs. I let Nova down and watched her sprint to the opened doors.

“Love you, Daddy! See you after school!” She called out over her shoulder.

“I’ll pick you up later today, okay baby girl?” I replied. She nodded and rushed onto the bus to where her friends were waiting.

She waved as the bus began to move, and I waved back until the bus was out of sight, disappearing around the corner. I began my brief journey home.

‘I should probably do some cleaning around the house, I’ve been so busy I’ve neglected it,’

My eyes wondered as I walked, studying the view around me. The sidewalk had seen better days, a sharp contrast to the trim and tip-top condition of the grass bordering it. It’s that time of year when the trees have started to bloom again, and the chill of winter was slowly leaving, though In Vermont, it was never truly gone. The sky was a dark and unwelcoming shade of grey, but I could see that it would likely clear up later on in the day. I made it to my front door and opened it.

As I walked in, I surveyed the house, making up a mental checklist of what needed to be done. With a sigh, I got to work.

~five hours later~

I looked over the place for a second time, only this time it was spotless, and the couch was calling my name. I crawled over to it and set an alarm for a half hour before falling into the soft cushioning with a sort of dull thud.

~

To be perfectly honest, the words had tumbled out of my mouth unwittingly, without any idea as to how or why. Either way, they were now here, in the air between us, and come hell or high water there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. The thing about that was-- I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to. Cas still had yet to say anything, and my eyes stared intently at my shoes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. Which was, by the way, far from the truth of the matter.

“Do you really mean that?” Cas asked, and I could feel his stare burning into my forehead. He asked the same question again a second time, and all I could do was shuffle my feet. I tried to speak, to say something, anything. But all that would come out was a garbled string of nonsensical sounds.

Finally, embarrassed, I nodded. Mustering up what little courage I had left I peeked up at him from underneath my lashes and was flabbergasted at the huge, all-encompassing smile spread across his face.

“I love you too,” He said, pulling me in close. I distantly registered the sensation of his warm breath wafting over my face as our lips ne-  
~

RING RING RING

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. Every single power nap I’d had for a long while showed that memory. I had no idea why, and I’d really much rather it didn’t. I got up and checked my face in the bathroom mirror, then rushed out of the door to the Impala.

I checked the time, and discovering I was still pretty early to pick Nova up, I decided to take the long way around. As I drove, I passed by a street fair. I could see colourful flowers and items being sold all the way up and down the street. Nova would love it. I smiled and decided to go a little faster.

Once I reached Nova’s school, I got out and waited for her by the entry way. The bell rang several minutes later, and I watched as Nova skipped down the hall with a couple of her friends, smiling brightly. When she saw me, she practically glowed. She waved goodbye to her friends as she ran up to me for a bone crushing hug. I laughed and picked her up.

“How’s my little Supernova?” I asked as I set her down and took her hand.

“Great Daddy! How are you?” She asked as we made our way to the parking lot.

“Kinda sleepy, but nothing Daddy can’t handle,” I replied as I watched her climb into the back seat of Baby.  
“What’s the plan Daddy?” She asks as I make make my way back to the driver's seat. I turned the key, waiting for the engine to roar to life before answering.

“Well, I saw a street fair on the way here. Wanna go?”

Nova’s eyes widened with glee. “Yes Daddy please can we go to the street fair?” I chuckled, “I did offer, didn’t I?” before pulling out of the space and making a slow retreat from the after school traffic.

A few minutes and several Bon Jovi duets later we made it to the street fair.

“Get out on the sidewalk side of the car and wait for me there, okay Nova?” She nods and slides across the bench seat to the sidewalk and gets out. She closes the door behind her and waits for me as I get out quickly, watching for cars as I do so.

Once I have locked up Baby, I jog over to Nova and take her hand in mine. She giggles and starts pulling me towards the stalls.

“Daddy, can we get some flowers?” Nova chirps as we go past a flower stall.

“Will you remember to water them?”

“Yes Daddy, I promise!” I sigh and take her back to the booth. I kneel down to her eye level, placing my hands firmly on my knees.

“Pick the smallest bouquet they carry, okay?”

“Okay!” She says and rushes around to look at all of the flowers. I smile when she waves me over to a bunch of pink roses, Cas’ favorites. I smile even as I feel my stomach coil and ache.

~Flash back~

“My favorite flower?” I nodded shyly. Cas stood for a moment before replying. “Pink roses. They signify grace.”  
~

I nodded at Nova and she skipped over to the vendor. She was an older woman who clearly admired Nova’s good manners. I paid and we said our goodbyes. Nova and I continued on our way down the market.

I picked up some food for dinner as we went. Nova made sure to leave no stall unexplored in her glee, but she didn’t ask for anything else until we approached the end of the line.

“Look Daddy! Ice Cream!” She beamed as she pointed at the ice cream vendor stationed a few paces in front of us.

“Do you want some?” I asked. She nodded quickly. “Yes, Daddy!”

“I’ll meet you there. You go on ahead!” I said, nudging her in front of me. I watched her take off quickly, flowers in tow. She was there in a flash, quickly talking to the vendor.

“My name’s Nova!” I heard Nova say to the vendor. I heard a deep chuckle before a response.

“Nice to meet you, Nova. Actually, it’s kinda funny- those pink roses you have there are my favorite flowers. Do you know what they symbolize?” Nova shook her head. “They’re known to mean grace.”

“Nova contemplated this information for a minute before turning to me, bouncing eagerly on the balls of her feet. “Daddy! The ice cream man says that the roses mean grace!” She called.

I chuckled heartily as I walked up to stand beside her. “That’s what Papa told me once. What type of ice cream do you want?”

“Mint chip!”

“Okay, baby girl,” I stood up and turned to look at the man before me for the first time. The instant my eyes met with startling blue I froze, and thought I heard something shatter. I knew those eyes better than anything. I took in the rest of the man’s face and barely managed to stifle a gasp. It was him.

“Cas?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not putting up the original A/N because they're no longer relevant to the time I'm posting each chapter, since I'm posting each of these in succession to each other in one day rather than once a month. 
> 
> (I update this story once a month)

~flash back~

'Of course it had to be this way. That's how it's always had to be. The one time I finally get to live the life I want to live it gets ripped out of my hands. What am I supposed to do without you? How am I supposed to raise her? Damn it, where are -"

The door creaked open, interrupting my thoughts. I buried my head deeper into my pillow, if that was even possible.

"Dean? Dean are you in here?" A voice asked. Sam's voice.

"I'm right here, Sammy." I whisper, my voice hoarse from lack of use. I hear Sam's long stride as he makes his way over to my side of the bed.

"What's up?" He asks casually.

"This dark room. You?"

"Nothing really." He crouched there silently, as if contemplating a question, before finally saying something. "Do you need anything, Dean? You know I'm here to help."

"Actually, there is something I need you to do for me, Sammy." I said after a minute of silence.

"Anything, Dean."

"Take Nova. Just for a little while, until I pull myself together. I don't want her to see me like this, and frankly I-," his voice cracked, much to his dismay. "I'm ashamed to admit I'm a little too broken right now to take care of her without-"

"Say no more, Dean. I'll do it." He paused. "When was the last time you ate something?"

I stilled when I realized I actually had no idea. How long had it been? Days? Weeks? Hours? These things didn't seem to mean anything until this moment, when my stomach growled.

"I… actually don't know. I've been feeding Nova, I'm not so sure about myself." I let out a soft chuckle. How typical of me.

"Let's go make you both some grilled cheese or something." Sam suggested, resting the flat of his hand on my arm, just below my shoulder. I nodded and picked myself up off the bed.

"I'll join you in a minute," I say as I shuffle tiredly to my bathroom, rubbing my eyes. Sam mumbles an 'okay' before leaving the room.

When I reach the bathroom mirror, I don't recognize the person staring back at me. This person's hair is a mess, he has dark circles under his eyes, he likely smells from the lack of showering and he has some serious scruff going on from not shaving in so long. His eyes portrayed so much hurt and sadness I honestly wished that the person I was staring at wasn't me. But he was. I decided I wasn't going to show Nova this side of me. She didn't need to see her remaining parent broken.

I start by taking a shower to fix up my hair and put some life back into my face. Once I'm out I shave off the scruff and then go get dressed. By the time I'm back in the bathroom to brush my teeth, I see a far less scary person staring back at me, but the look in his eyes couldn't have been washed away by anything. I spit, then walked out of my room and down the hallway into the kitchen.

I hear the sound of thundering feet the moment I walk in. I turn to the right to see my little girl running up to me, arms already reaching out for me. "Daddy!" She calls.

I squat down and pick her up, spinning her around before placing her on my hip. "Hey, baby girl! How's daddy's little supernova doing?" I ask lightly before planting a kiss on her cheek. She giggled, delighted.

"I'm good, daddy! What about you?" She asked, fisting a small, chubby hand in my shirt as we walked to where Sam was piling up the sandwiches on a plate.

"I'm hungry. What shall I eat?" I pretended to ponder for a second before tickling her. "Shall I eat you?"

Loud screams and giggles filled the room as Nova squirmed in my arms. "No, Daddy! You eat the grilled cheese!" She said between giggles. I stopped tickling her to let her breathe.

"Oh. Now, that makes more sense!" I said as I carried her over to the island where her chair was.

"Uncle Sammy, Uncle Sammy!" She called out as she sat down. Sam looked up from the stove. "Yes, Nova?"

"Guess how old I am!" She said, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Um…. I don't know. Let's see... 3048!"

"No, silly! I'm three!" Nova giggled as she was handed her plate.

"Well 3 year olds have to eat, just like 3048 year old daddy's do." Nova gasped and turned to me with wide eyes.

"Daddy! Are you 3048?" She asked, tripping over the number slightly as she babbled. I laughed.

"No, baby girl. I'm not that old."

"Is Papa?"

I froze. But only slightly, so Sam was the only one who noticed. I nodded and laughed. "Yes, Papa is that old."

Nova accepted this with another gleeful giggle before digging into her sandwich. Once I finished mine, I sat back to watch her.

'She's the light of my life. She has been since we adopted her. Cas, if you can hear me, please come home. I can't do this without you. Please, please come home."

"Daddy! Is it true I'm going over to Uncle Sammy's house?" I looked up at my daughter, an incredible light shining in her eyes. I didn't want that to leave her eyes. Ever.

"Yeah baby girl. Uncle Sammy's gonna take you for a while. At least until I can figure some stuff out."

"Yay! When Daddy?" I looked at Sam and he responded for me.

"Today, Nova. We'll pack your stuff after lunch, okay?"

"Okay!"

~End of flashback~

"Sir?" A voice asked. I looked up at the vendor again. There was no doubt. The man I was looking at was my long lost husband. I stood there, shell shocked. Nova looked up at me and back at Cas, then back at me before she made the connection and gasped herself.

"I-I'm sorry…" I paused. "W-what's your name?"

"Clarence. Clarence Novak…" He responded slowly, giving me a pointed look. "Is something wrong sir?"

I took Nova's hand and led her several feet away before crouching to meet her eye level. I gave her the correct amount of money for some mint chip ice cream.

"Don't say anything to him Nova. Do you recognize him?" Nova nodded. "It's Papa…"

I sighed sadly. "Yes baby girl. I have to make a call, but I want you to have some ice cream. Say anything but that you know him, okay?" She nodded before taking the money and skipping off to Ca- Clarence.

I pulled out my phone and quickly dialed Sam's number.

"This is Sam."

"I found him." There was a silence.

"What?"

"I found Cas, Sam. But he doesn't know me. He says his name is Clarence. I'm barely holding it together here man. I don't know what to do!"

"Okay, calm down. I'll get a hold of Gabe, and we'll figure this out. Give me some information."

"His name is Clarence Novak, he works for The Super Natural Ice Cream Company. I don't know anything else other than the fact that he didn't-he doesn't-" I stopped when my voice broke. Just then, Nova skipped back to me.

"He gave me his card to give to you Daddy," she said as she held up the card. I smiled at her and took it. I gathered up the grocery bags, adjusted my phone and took Nova's hand before speaking to Sam again.

"I have a business card if you want the info I'll text it to you."

"Yeah that would be great. I'm going to meet you at your place tonight."

"Okay. Bring Gabe, too. Text me when you're on your way. I'll see you then."

"Will do. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and followed Nova's lead back to the Impala. I carefully placed everything in the back seat with Nova before starting my way home.

"Did you have a good time, baby girl?" I asked as we drove. When I didn't get a reply, I looked in the rearview mirror to see her sleeping. I chuckled but continued to drive.

Once I got us home, I carefully removed the flowers from Nova's hands and then carried her into the house where I put her on the couch. I tucked her in with the throw blanket that stayed on the couch at all times. I needed her to wake up for dinner later. I then went back out to Baby and started unpacking groceries.

As I walked back from Baby with groceries in tow, I studied the walls of the entry way. Pictures littered the walls, showing pictures ranging from successful hunts and funny moments shared, to wedding pictures and Nova as a baby. I had always made sure that she knew who Cas was, and what he meant to our family. I didn't try to hide him from her. I never took down the pictures of him, and I always told her stories of our adventures before bed.

I took in the flowers last. I got out a vase that had been gathering dust in a cabinet for a good long while and washed it off. I filled it with fresh water and added the flower food that the vendor had given us before putting the flowers in the vase and setting them on the table.

~Flash back~

"Cas?" I called as I entered the house, wary of my boyfriend jumping out of nowhere to ruin the surprise.

"I'm up here!" A reply came from up the stairs. Perfect.

I slinked my way up the stairs and snuck up to Cas' office door. I cracked it open to see him heavily immersed in whatever was on his computer.

"Babe?" I inquired as I pushed open the door.

"Hmm?" he returned, not looking away from the screen. I took my chance to walk up beside him.

"I have a surprise for you," I sang gleefully. I saw Cas' determined look turn into a delighted grin as he turned to me.

"And what would this surprise be?" He inquired, taking my free hand in his and pulling me towards him. I sat on his lap and pulled out a dozen pink roses from where I was hiding them behind my back.

"Flowers and dinner." I replied. The smile I got in return was by far the best sight I had ever seen.

~Flashback end~

I set the table and then began to work on dinner. Just as I had put the frittata in the oven, my phone buzzed.

~Sam: We're on our way over. Gabe took a look into Cas' life for the past five years, much to his disdain. I'm bringing the info over with me to look at after dinner.

~Me: Sounds good. Dinner should be done, quickly. I just put in the oven.

~Sam: Sounds good. Be there shortly.

I looked over at my daughter on the couch for a second.

'Where have you been Cas? Is this why you haven't been answering me?' I prayed to myself. I haven't prayed to him in forever. After all, I had thought he was gone for good. I walked over to Nova to lightly wake her up.

"Baby girl, dinner's almost ready." Grumbles erupted from her, but not much else.

"Nova, Uncle Sam and Uncle Gabe will be here soon, you need to get up." At that, she sat up, pushing her her hair out of her face and looking at me.

"I'm up. After dinner I have homework to do." She said, and yawned.

"Yup. Go get cleaned up." Nova slowly got off of the couch and shuffled over to the stairs up to her bedroom.

Just then headlights shined through the window as Sam's car turned into the driveway.


	3. Chapter 3

I greeted my brother and his husband at the door. Sam greeted me with his usual warmth, slinging his arms around my waist and tightly squeezing. Gabe hesitated for a moment, hovering awkwardly by the door. I decided to put him out of his misery, and pulled him into a one-armed hug. I stepped back to let them step inside.

I looked over my brother and his husband as they walked in. Sam looked drained, however much he tried to hide it, as he looked around for Nova.

“Where’s my one and only, favorite niece?” Sam asked, putting his hands on his knees as he peered around quizzically, brows slicked down in exaggerated confusion. The sound of a thundering Nova sounded as she rushed from her room and down the stairs reached our ears within a matter of seconds. Just like that, Sam’s eyes lit up.

“Uncle Sammy! Uncle Gabe!” She called once she reached the bottom. She then proceeded to barrel into Sam’s waiting arms.

“There she is!” Sam laughed, pulling her up and into his embrace, her legs churning in the air as she squealed. Gabe watched with a fond smile that threatened to split his face in two, and dare I say, a bit of longing. My throat tightened, and I felt the familiar pang of guilt in spite of myself. Gabe and Sam had been talking about having kids before Cas’ disappearance, but ultimately decided not to out of consideration to Nova’s and I’s situation. Though they never said it in as many words, they didn’t have to.

“Come on, dinner is ready. We don’t want it to get cold.” I took Nova’s hand in mine and waved Sam and Gabe towards the dining room with my free one, where everything was set up.

Nova, Sam and Gabe all sat down in their seats while I grabbed the chicken from the oven and carefully set it on the table between all of us. I sat down and began to dish out the food as I listened absentmindedly to Nova and Gabe’s conversation.

“Uncle Gabe, guess what?” Chirped Nova as I took her plate.

“What am I guessing, my sweet chocolate starfish?” Gabe guessed as he turned to focus on his niece, eyes warm as they looked at her. If the archangel had a soft spot, it would be her.

“I got pink roses from the street fair, today.”

“Really? Are the flowers you picked the same as the ones at the center of the table?”

Nova nodded seriously. “They mean grace. That’s what Papa told me when we saw him today.”

My entire body stiffened up in spite of itself, and I watched as Gabe’s eyes widened a fraction at the mention of his baby brother. For just a moment, his expression fell, but just as quickly he transitioned back into his usual good cheer, even as I could all but hear the gears whirring in his brain, frantically trying to piece everything together into something that made sense to him.

“Well, he wasn’t wrong, starfish. He wasn't wrong.” Gabe looked up and met my eyes, all but telling me we had things we needed to discuss later, and there was no way I was to be getting out of it.

At this point, everyone began to dig into their dinners, complimenting me on my fantastic cooking as they always do. For I was simply one hell of a master chef.

Once dinner was done and small talk had been exchanged, I turned to Nova.

“You said you had homework?”

“I do.”

“Then you can go start on it. I’ve got the dishes tonight, baby girl.”

“Okay daddy.” Nova quickly exited the room, leaving us alone.

“What did you get?” I asked when Nova was supposedly out of earshot. Sam looks over at Gabe with an expectant look. Gabe let out a sad sigh before reaching under the table where he kept the briefcase he head brought in when they got there.

Gabe brought out a laptop and opened it. He turned the screen in such a way so that I could see the information clearly. I listened carefully as he explained his findings.

“So, let’s start with the ice cream company. They were founded in 2009 by one Burt Gramm, who began the business in honor of his granddaughter who suffered from leukemia at the time. Quite tragic, really. Ever since she was diagnosed, he uses the money he earns from the ice cream shop to donate to the hospital where she was kept before she passes in 2014. I guess that's what drew Cas to him, albeit unconsciously.”

I took in the information carefully as Gabe continued to speak.

“Cas began to work there in 2012, the year after he disappeared. Actually, he began working there the same day of his disappearance. According to the town records, Cas came into the shop several weeks prior, all beat up with no recollection of who he was, what happened, or how he got there in the first place. Burt took him to the hospital and then helped him get his life together, giving him a job and a place to stay until he could sustain himself. He’s worked there ever since. It’s not very exciting, though I’m sure Cas might have more insight on it.”

Sam and I sat at the table silently, processing this new information.

“Is there anything to suggest that Cas remembers anything?” I asked quietly. Gabe sighed before turning and pulling up some documents on his laptop. He turned it back to me and he began to explain.

“Cas technically doesn’t, but there are reports of him “phasing out of reality”, meaning that he would be normal Clarence one second and then the next he would be Cas, looking confused and scared. At those times, Burt would haul him in the back and help him get back to now, away from customers eyes.”  
“How do you know about that?” Sam interjected, looking at his husband quizzically.

“I may or may not have called Burt and asked him about Cas. To get him to talk I had to give him vague details of our situation. He wants to help Cas come back home, if he can.”

Silence fell over them again as I sat back and thought about it.

“He would be helpful. He’s someone Cas knows and trusts.” Gabe continued.

“We, are supposed to be the people that Cas knows and trusts!” I snapped, regretting it the instant the words left my mouth. I didn’t look up to see their reaction, and I had no want nor need to. I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms and sighed. “But I see your point. Where do we go from here?”

“I don’t know yet, but I’m going to draw up a plan later. You need some time to sit on this with Nova before you do anything. You don’t want to scare them away. This tak-”

“Takes time, I know but that’s all I’ve had. Time. Without Cas. Nova has had all this time without her father, and she misses him. I know she does, even if she doesn’t-” I stopped abruptly, for my voice was dangerously close to cracking. I swallowed. “It’s time to bring him home. Soon.”

Gabe was silent, staring at me for a long while, before slowly nodding. He reached and closed the laptop before carefully stowing it away and getting to his feet.

“Thank you for dinner, Dean. We’ll figure this out.” Sam said as he rose. He clapped me on the back as we shuffle collectively to the door. I hugged Sam and shook hands with Gabe, then watched them leave through the front door and get into their car. I’m still standing in the doorway until long after they drive away.


	4. Chapter 4

After Sam and Gabe had left, (to the disappointment of Nova), the two of us began our nightly routine. Nova finished up the last of her homework, while I sat next to her to help. Once that was finished, Nova and I raced to see who could get ready for bed the fastest. Nova won this time around. I walked into her room to see her already tucked under the covers reading a book. When she saw me come in, she took care to mark her place, before setting it down on the nightstand by her bed.

She then carefully clasped her hands together, giving me a look with the kind of solemnity no eight-year-old should be able to exhibit, much less be allowed to. If I wasn’t as strung out as I was, I probably would have had trouble preventing myself from grinning at how cute my daughter was. I reached the bed and sat down beside her, the bed squeaking in protest under my added weight.

“What story do you want to hear today Nova?” I asked as I made sure she was tucked in, pulling the covers up to her chin.

“I want to hear about your last day with Papa before he disappeared. You’ve never told me about it.”

I was a little disconcerted by her request, but not necessarily surprised. I stared at her for a moment before I nodded.

“The day your father went missing started out like any other. I woke up to him right next to me, like always. He was already awake, which was typical. He’d,” I corrected myself abruptly, “he’s always been a morning person. Never could understand it, myself. Always said I could be a morning person… If morning happened around noon.”

~flashback~

The light filtered in through the window. The sun, I decided in that moment, was the single rudest entity I’d ever encountered. I groaned and rolled over, hooking my arm across Cas’ hips. I cracked open an eye to see his blue eyes already staring at me intently.

“Is it that interesting to watch me sleep, Cas?” I asked groggily as I shifted my leg between both of his, pressing my face into the crook of his neck. Though I imagine it probably wasn’t half as intelligible as that. I heard him chuckle as I closed my eyes and nuzzled up into his chest. He wrapped his arm around my back and buried his nose in my hair.

“I can't help that you are so angelic when you sleep.” Cas argued.

“Yeah, yeah.” I replied, the little joke he’d cracked not lost on me as I once again began slowly drifting off.

“Nah uh. You're not going back to sleep. We have plans for today, remember? Nova will murder us if we don’t go to the aquarium. We promised.”

“I know, but it’s still early.”

“I bet you five dollars she’s already awake and waiting for us to get up.”

I contemplated this for a second before glancing at the doorway. From the bedroom, I could see all the way down the hall. Around the corner of the hallway I saw a pair of green-blue eyes peering at me. I sighed, though it came out more like a snort.

“I guess I owe you five dollars then. Nova! I know you’re at the end of the hall, you can come in!”

The response was the thundering, yet tiny footsteps of the three- year old as she dashed into the room and leaped onto the bed, as gracefully as any three-year-old can.

I laughed with Cas as we watched our daughter climb in between us and plop down on the comforter.

“Hi Daddy, Papa!” She greeted cheerfully.

“Morning Baby girl!” I smiled and looked up at Cas through my eyelashes, Cas turning and looking me at the same time. He smiled back vibrantly and leaned in, bumping his forehead with mine.

“Good morning my little Supernova.” Cas responded, looking down at his daughter, love evident on every feature of his face.

“Are you excited for today!?” exclaimed Nova sat up and hopped up and down to express her own excitement.

Cas looked up at the ceiling in thought, letting out an occasional ‘hmmm’ as he studied it. He then eyed Nova from the corner of his eye. “yes.” he responded. Nova giggled, little nose scrunching up in delight.

“Come on Daddy, Papa! We need to hurry before all the fishy’s get tired!” With that, Nova bolted down the hall to her bedroom.

Cas sighed and turned to me. “Duty calls.”

“As always. I’ll pack up stuff while you get her dressed?”

“Aye aye, Captain.” Cas replied, saluting me. I chuckled before leaning over to give him a much-needed peck on the lips.

“Be back in a dash”

~End of Flashback~

Nova started at me intently, urging me to go on. I sighed, knowing I wasn't permitted to leave until I’d finished my story.

“So, once we were all ready to go, we got in the car and traveled into the city to go to the aquarium. I remember you were happily singing along to my music as loudly as you could, and your father was holding my hand and softly singing along as he laughed at you.”

‘It truly was the perfect moment for us.’ I thought.

“What happened at the Aquarium?” Nova asked softly.

~Flashback~

“Nova, slow down! We’ll have enough time to see all of the fish!” Cas laughed as he sped walked after his daughter. Nova giggled loudly and ran up to the closest fish tank, awe-struck as she admired as a school of wonderfully coloured fish swimming past. Cas came up beside her and took her hand to prevent her mad dash to another tank. He calmly walked with her as I trailed beside them.

Nova stopped suddenly and turned to me.

“Daddy I have to use the restroom.” She stated in a matter-of-fact tone. I sighed and turned to Cas. He shrugged and gave me a look that clearly said ‘it’s your turn.’

“Come on Nova, Papa will wait out here while we go.”

Nova dropped Cas’ hand in favor of mine so I could lead her to the bathrooms. Cas followed us and then sat on the bench outside the door to wait for us. He waved at Nova as we entered and mouthed ‘Good Luck’ to me. I chuckled softly before entering the bathroom.

*Several Minutes later*

Nova and I exited and I immediately turned to Cas only to find an empty seat. Puzzled, I scanned the room looking for him. I could feel a slight panic rising in my chest as I searched the immediate area from where I stood. Nova looked up at me curiously.

“Where’s Papa?”

I swallowed. “I don’t know, Nova. Let’s go find him.”

We walked around for hours, while I was trying to keep my rising panic down as I toured the fish, entertaining Nova as to not alert her of the situation. Soon enough, the sun started to set and the large aquarium was hit with twilight. That’s when I decided it was time to call someone. I quickly walked to the front desk, holding a sleepy Nova in my arms.

“Hello sir, how may I help you?” The receptionist greeted when I approached the desk.

“Yes, hi. I can’t find my husband anywhere. I’ve been looking for hours. Would you please call him on the intercom or something?” I replied quietly not to disturb the child in my arms, worry lacing my tone. The receptionist must have picked up on it and didn’t ask questions as she reached for the phone.

“What’s his name?” She asked as she held the receiver to her ear.

“Castiel. Castiel Winchester-Novak.”

“Would Castiel Winchester-Novak please come to the front desk? Castiel Winchester-Novak? Thank you,” The receptionist’s voice rang through the large building. I thanked her before making my way to a nearby bench. I sat down, adjusting Nova onto my lap as I pulled out my phone to text Sam.

Me: Hey Sammy, I may need your help.

A few minutes later my phone chimed alerting me of a text. I looked down to read Sam’s response.

Sam: What’s up?

Me: I can’t find Cas anywhere. We went to the aquarium with Nova and when Nova and I got back from the bathroom he wasn’t where we left him, and I haven’t seen him since.”

Sam: He hasn’t just disappeared like that in a long time. Do you need anything? I’m not far from the aquarium.

Me: Yeah, could you come get Nova? I don’t want her with me while I search.

Sam: Yeah sure. I’ll be there in 10.

I looked up from my phone, hoping to see Cas, but was instead greeted with guests slowly exiting. The receptionist from before walked up to me with a worried look on her face.

“No luck?” She asked. I shook my head no.

“Do I need to call the police?”

“No, not yet at least. My brother is coming to pick her up. Once she’s gone, maybe.” The receptionist nodded and retreated to her desk. The rest of the night went by in a blur. After Sam came to pick up Nova and left with her, I called the police. They opened an investigation that ended almost as quickly as it started. There was no trace of him.

He was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> ~Cinnamon


	5. Chapter 5

Once I had finished my story, Nova nodded in understanding. She reached up and looped her small arms around my neck for a hug, to which I happily returned.  
"I love you, Daddy," she said as she pulled away and settled back into her bed. I smiled and folded the blankets around her small frame so she was tucked in snugly.

"I love you too, baby girl," I said, leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead. When I pulled away, I heard a soft snore erupt from her frame. I smile to myself again before carefully moving myself off of her bed to exit.

~Le time skip~

"Nova! It's time to get up! Daddy's got to get to work!" I called, trying to get Nova to hurry up for the third time this morning.

"Coming!" She called, thundering down the stairs as she normally does. She ran up to me. I handed her her back pack, lunch and homework. I took her hand and walked her to the bus, waving goodbye to her as she drove off. I walked back to Baby and got, starting the car once I was settled. I drove through town, making my way to the local garage and body shop that I am this close to owning myself.

"Hey, Dean, how was your day off?" A voice asked pulling me from my thoughts, which really weren't that interesting. I turned to answer said voice.

"Hey Bill. It was interesting to say the least. What about you?"

"Same old, same old. Are you ready to get to work?"

"Yup, like always."

The day doled on as I fixed problem after reoccurring problem, letting myself get lost in my work. I had AC/DC screaming in my ears when there was a tap on my shoulder.

"Hey, Dean. There's a guy here asking for you."

I turned around to look at the assailant. I found myself face to face with no one other than Tony. Quite closely, in fact.

Now, I'm sure Tony's a good guy when he doesn't have his sights on you, but damn he needed to learn some boundaries. I bit back a sigh as I gently pulled him out of my personal space.

"Okay Tony. Do you know who it is?"

"Nah, man. He said his name was Cameron, Carson, something with a 'c'."

"Cas- I mean Clarence?"

"Yeah, that's it. He's in the office."

I felt myself nod, and then run. I ran as fast as I could to the other side of the shop, quickly stopping to catch my breath before entering the office.I prevented myself from stopping short as I my eyes met with startling blue.

"Hello, I'm D-"

"Dean. You're Dean." Cas interrupted, taking a shallow breath.

"D- do you remember me?" I asked cautiously, only daring to step one step closer.

"Not really, no. I just felt the urge to come here, and ask for a man named Dean." I couldn't help but feel the dissatisfying feeling of defeat when he said those words.

"Oh." Was all I could say.

"Do you know me?" He asked.

"Yes." I replied without hesitation. " but I don't have time to explain it to you now. Come back in 15 minutes when I go in my lunch break,"

I saw him take in my sentence before nodding.

"I'll be back."

~15 minutes later~

I ran back to office where so had left Cas after our last conversation. I found him exactly where I'd left him, sitting in one of the office chairs, reading. He looked up when I walked in, and did that little smirk that I fell in love with and missed dearly.

"Let's go to lunch. I know a great place down the street where we can talk." I inquired. Cas smiled shyly.

"Yes, that would be great."

"Great. Let's go then."

I led Cas out of the shop, falling into step beside him as we walked down the worn pavement. We walked in a comfortable silence. Neither of us spoke until we reached the restaurant, a diner that Nova and I dined at frequently. I opened the door and let Cas walk into the familiar aroma of food.

"Welcome to Jake's Diner. Is it just the two of you today?" A hostess asked as she walked up to the counter, counting out two menus.

"Yes, just us two." Cas replied politely, showing off a smile. The hostess giggled a little in response. I felt myself get defensive before I remembered that Cas wasn't my husband at the moment. He's Clarence, apparently.

The hostess led us to a two seater booth, set down our menus and left with the promise of drinks. Once we were alone I looked at Cas to speak but he spoke first.

"How do you know me?" He asked bluntly, diving straight into his questions.

"How about we start with what you remember before I divulge info that you don't remember. It might sound creepy with no context," I injected, holding my hands up in defense. He gave me look before sighing.

"I guess you're right. But I want you to answer one question for me before I explain what I know." Cas compromised. I nodded.

"Shoot."

What's my real name?" He stared me right in the eye, his body language showing confidence but his blue eyes told a different story. "I feel as if Clarence isn't my real name."

"It's not. You're actual name is Castiel."

"Castiel?"

"Yeah, Castiel. I call you Cas for short. Or I used to anyway."

"You can call me Cas." He interrupted, his eyes shifting away. I was a little taken aback.

"Really?"

"Yes, if that is what you used to, then yes. It might help me remember."

"Okay then. Cas. What do you remember?"

Cas was quiet for a moment, seemingly collecting his thoughts before speaking.

" I remember heaven."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> ~Cinnamon


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a little SPN related story at the end if you wanna read it. (It has to do with SPN Con in Seattle (Bellevue)) Anyway, I hope you like this chapter! Leave a review and a kudos please, it really encourages me to write. Constructive criticism is always welcome!

I stared at him.

“Y-you remember heaven?” I stammered out. He nodded solemnly. I rubbed my face before looking him in the eye again. Many thoughts ran through my head, most of them not all that pleasant. I had long since learned how to curb my tongue. Having a child had certainly helped me build up a filter.

“You seem troubled.” Cas pointed out. Very observant, that one. Someone should give him gold star. I sighed.

“Yes Cas, I’m troubled. A better descriptor would be confused. Baffled. Puzzled.”

“Discombobulated?” Cas cut in, adding another word that means ‘confused’ to my list. I huffed, unimpressed. “Why are you confused, Dean?”

“It doesn’t matter why. What else do you remember?” Cas gave me a weird side look, one that I’d grown accustomed to over the years.

“I remember Heaven. I remember a small child, no older than three, I'd guess? I remember a house and voice. Male, kind of like yours, younger. I remember the child called me Papa?”

“You remember Nova?” I sat up at this, fully at attention now. He gave me that look again.

“Who’s Nova?”

“Can I get you something to drink?” A voice interrupts. I looked up to see Patty, one of the waitresses that had served Nova and I since before Cas disappeared.

“I’ll have my usual coffee, Patty.” I responded kindly. She nodded before turning to Cas. She gave him a blank stared before her brow furrowed.

“Do I know you?” She asked, pointing her pen at Cas. He gave her an uncomfortable look.

“Probably, though I don’t remember you.” He responded bluntly.

“Cas, would you cut it out with the angel attitude, okay?” I snapped.

Cas’s expression hardened into a carefully guarded expression that I hadn’t liked before he left, and certainly didn’t appreciate now. “Now, I may have no recollection of you or my relationship with you, but I don’t believe in any existing world I would’ve tolerated you speaking to me the way you are now.” He turned to Patty. “I’d like some water please.”

“Coming right up,” She said hesitating a brief moment, before walking away to begin their order.

I turned to Cas. “Forgive me for snapping at the man who walked out on his family. Yeah, you can’t expect me to be pleased as pie about that Cas. The little girl you remember? He name is Nova. She’s your daughter. She’s eight now. That voice you remember, and that house? It’s mine. It’s our house. That’s my voice. So if you wanna lecture me about my tone, then fine. Be my guest. But I want you to think about the consequences, and think about what you say before you say it, are we clear?”

Cas looked at me, shell shocked. I stared him down in the eye as I mulled over the bomb I had just dropped on him.

“I have a daughter?” He squeaked, penetrating blue opening up like a torrential downpour. I sighed. “Where is she? Who's been taking care of her? Wh-”

“Cas!” I stopped him short. “She’s at school right now. I’ve been taking care of her because she’s my daughter, too. Don’t you get it?”

“Get what? How is she your daughter?” Cas looked defensive, as if he was going to tackle me if I said the wrong thing. I snapped.

“We’re married, Cas!” I let out a frustrated sound as my head hit the table. I folded my arms and rested my head on them. I couldn’t see Cas’ face but I’m sure it’s the same shocked expression from before. I didn’t move my head when I spoke again.

“I know this is all crashing in on you, all of this information,” I sat up and stared him down. “But you and I used to hunt monsters together, for many years. You are a fallen angel, quite literally. That’s why you remember Heaven. After many years of hunting together, you and I settled down. After we got married we adopted a beautiful baby girl named Nova Amara Mary Winchester-Novak. You were around until she was three, when we took her to the aquarium. Then you disappeared. Nova and I have been on our own since then.”

Cas was silent, trying to comprehend the information with steeply arched brows. I could tell he was trying to decide if I was telling the truth or not.

“Here are your drinks. Do you want your usual burger Dean?” Patty asked, appearing suddenly near my shoulder. I shook my head no.

“I’m not really hungry right now Patty, but thank you.” She turned to Cas who also shook his head no.

“The little girl I sold ice cream to the other day, the one that was with you. Was that Nova?” he asked, not making eye contact with me, his glass being infinitely more interesting.

“Yes that was Nova. She knew it was you, by the way.” Cas looked up at that.

“What do you mean by that, Dean?”

“I mean that she knew that you, Castiel, was her father. One of them at least. Just because you physically weren't there doesn’t mean I let her forget you.” I sipped my coffee. He nodded. I looked at the time. My lunch break ended in ten minutes. I had to get back. I turned to Cas.

“So we were married?” he asked.

“We technically still are. I don’t remember divorcing you.” I held up my left hand, showing off the worn silver band. Cas nodded and pulled a chain out of his shirt. On the chain was his matching ring, silver flashing in the sunlight. I felt my breath catch.

“You still have it,” I managed to grit out, and judging by the way his eyes sloped down in the corners like a sad pup there was no hiding my devastation. There was a moment where we both just stared at each other. He nodded after a while.

“I knew it was important so I kept it. I knew I’d find out someday what my life was before the ice cream company. I never figured I’d be married to a guy though,” he chuckled, before his face fell again. “Nor did I figure I’d have daughter waiting for me.”

“Look Cas. I don’t expect you to come back. This isn’t your life anymore. Hell you don’t even remember this life. But I’m willing to help you if this is something you want back. Not just to help you remember Nova and I, but also why you left in the first place.”

“I’d like to remember very much, Dean.” Cas smiled. I (embarrassingly) melted a little before composing myself.

“Okay. I have to go back to work, but I’ll give you my number if you want.”

“Sure.” He slid over his phone. I picked it up and put in my number. I slid over my phone and he did the same. I got up, leaving enough to pay for the drinks.

We walked back to the shop in silence. I could tell Cas was in deep thought. We stopped in front of the shop and I turned to Cas.

“This is where I get off. Are you going to be okay? This is a lot of new information to handle. I wouldn’t blame you if you’re having a hard time with it.” I asked worriedly. He nodded before responding.

“I’ll be just fine, Dean. You go back to work. I need to go back as well. Thank you though. You’ve shined a light on a lot of things I couldn’t see before. Maybe I’ll start remembering things now.” He smiled at me, a full, beautiful smile. I took in a shallow breath.

“I’m glad. I’ll text you later, okay?” I said. He nodded as he began to walk away. He waved goodbye. I waved as well.

~  
Cas POV  
~

I walked away from Dean analyzing the new information in my head. I have a daughter? A husband? I’m an angel? That last bit was hard to chew, but I didn’t say anything to Dean. I don’t know why, but I believed wholeheartedly that he spoke nothing but the truth to me. I reached and opened my car, sliding into the driver's seat. I started the car and pulled out swiftly.

I drove along the road, quickly reaching the highway. After a short while I turned on the radio, listening to the guitar riff. A sharp pain suddenly hit my head, causing me to recoil and swerve slightly. I felt another and I quickly pulled over. I felt bile in my throat and quickly exited my car to unload the contents of my stomach in the foliage beside the road. The sharp pain throbbed again, bringing me to my knees. Suddenly pictures moved across my vision, some clear others fuzzy. I tried to pay attention to them but instead let out a shout of pain. God my head was about to explode.

I saw a little girl, the same from before. I saw Dean holding a small bundle and cooing to it softly. I saw a wedding cake and a tall person, much taller than me or Dean, slapping Dean on the back congratulating him. Dean’s ring glinted in the light. I focused on this, hoping that it would ease the pain. Instead, I just blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope to have the next chapter up soon. Summer is coming, I might be able to post more. (Actually summer is 3 days away now, but details)
> 
> Now for my mini story:  
> So If you've ever been to an SPN con on a Friday (I got skip school because of *food poisoning*) they do Karaoke night. My twin sister and I signed up to sing and we got picked to go up. (We sang Rock 'n' Roll Band by Boston. I was also wearing a Boston t-shirt from when I went to their concert) It was so amazing! I got to hug, Rob Benedict (Chuck/God), Richard Speight Jr. (Gabriel/Trickster) Jim Beaver (Bobby), Julian Richings (Death), and Kathrine Ramdeen (Alex). All of them are such sweet people. Then I got a picture with Misha Collins (on Saturday) and I nearly died but that's okay I'm still here. Then on Sunday My sister and I went to go get our Louden Swain merch signed (Rob Benedict's band) and Rob recognized us and then proceeded to tell the rest of the band about us. They wanted us to sing right there in the lobby but my sister and I decided not to. It was probably one of the best weekends of my life. If you read this thanks for reading my rant I just had to fangirl about it. Thanks for reading.
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> ~Cinnamon


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another chapter! Thanks for those who wanted me to post this (shout out to the anonymous poster on tumblr, I love you and to QueenSia_ for all of your votes on wattpad, they really made my day I love you too (I love all of you actually)) your support really inspires me to write and get out of my writers block. Thank you all so much! Without further ado, the next chapter!

I woke up sometime later, the sound of cars rushing past every now and then filled my ears, the headlights moving across my eyelids. I got up from the ground, thankfully having have fallen far from where my stomach decided to dump itself. I sat against the tire of my car and gulped in breaths of air, trying to asses the new information in my head.

*Flash back*

I looked over the view in front of me, the ocean pulling forward and back in waves. Dean and I had just finished a job in this town, a ghost who was convincing children to lash out. The job was simple, and all had gone well. I sat on the edge of the dock just off of Anderson Island, my bare feet brushing the cool water of the Puget Sound splashing around my feet and the cool Washington air surrounding me. I felt completely calm. I felt a presence sit next to me, immediately knowing it was Dean.

“Hey babe, whatcha doing?” He cooed, wrapping his arms around my middle and pulling me to him. I snuggled into him.

“Just admiring the water. What about you?”

“I’m pondering a question.”

“What’s the question?” Dean pulled away and got up, pulling me up with him. He pulled me towards the center of the dock, the sunlight silhouetting his figure as it began to dip behind the horizon. He took a deep breath.

“Cas, there are so many things I want to say to you, but to be honest, I don’t have the words. Ever since you came into my life, you’ve been a blessing, through thick and thin-”

“Where are you going with this, Dean?” I asked, concerned. He heard the uncertainty in my tone and backpedaled a bit.

“I’m not going anywhere bad, Cas, let me finish.” Dean laughed, taking my hand. His touch was comforting, so I let him continue.

“Even when you left, even when we were angry at each other, even when we both took out our issues on each other, we were still together in the end. And I don’t want that to end. Ever. I want you to be by my side forever Cas.” He stopped and took a breath of air, collecting himself before speaking again.

“Will you marry me?”

*End of flashback*

I sat wide eyed at the memory, if it even was that. The intensity of the emotions of it coursed through my body as I sat stunned. The love I’d felt, so familiar and foreign had me shaking. ‘Do I tell Dean? No, no I can’t get his hopes up. I’ll keep it to myself until I know more.’ After a minute, I picked myself up off the ground and got back in my car. I turned the key to start the car but it only stuttered in response. I sighed and tried again. Same thing. I let my head fall against the wheel in utter exhaustion, a desperate honk releasing from the car.

“Hello? Sir, do you need help?” A voice asked. A familiar voice. I sat up quickly to be met with Dean’s startling green eyes.

“Cas? What are you doing here? How long have you been out here?” He rushed from his car, the concern evident in his face.

“Uhhh, I pulled over earlier because I wasn’t feeling well and now my car wont start.” I responded slowly, not wanting to tell him the whole story.

Dean made his way to the hood. He propped it up to take a look.

“Looks like your battery is dead. I have a jumper cable in Baby, I’ll be back.” He determined, walking away from the trunk and over to the trunk of a shiny black 1967 Chevy Impala that was parked behind my white beater 2003 Ford Escort. I paled at the comparison.

I watched Dean dig around until a red and black jumper cable emerged from the trunk and it was slammed closed. Dean sauntered over, unraveling the cord as he did so. I felt my skin flush, thanking God for the darkness to hide it. Dean reached the front of his car and popped the hood. He hooked the respective hooks to their sides of his battery, showing of a wonderful, and I mean amazing, view of his ass. I swear there should be an equation for it’s exact measurements, that’s how fine it was.

Dean repeated the action to my car, his ass still impressive, the car not so much.

“Get into the driver's seat and turn the ignition when I tell you try and start your car,” Dean explained as he walked past me and entered his car. He kept his door open as he started his car and revved the engine. “Try now!”

I turned my car on. The car let out a small roar of life and I sighed in relief. I could go home. I looked at the clock on my dash and nearly fell out of the car. It’s two am!?

“You’re good to go. How far do you have to drive?” Dean asked, smoothly sliding up next to me and leaning against the frame of the car.

“I live an hour or so away. I should be fine, though I think I’ll be skipping work today. It’s two am.”

“Is it? I didn’t realize.” The sky rumbled, the overcast black sky began to drop sheets of water on us, drenching us instantly.

“Well, I think it’s kind of dangerous to make a huge drive in this weather,” Dean commented, looking me in the eye. “You can follow me home if you want. I have a guest room setup if you really don’t want to make the drive.”

“I think that would be the safest course of action, but I’ll need some dry clothes-”

“I have some clothes and pajamas for you, it’s fine.” Dean cut him off. He didn’t look me in the eye and I could see the slight blush on his face from the gleam of the headlights. I didn’t mention it though.

“Allright. I’ll follow you then.”

Dean got in his car and I did as well. I watched as he pulled forward in front of me and led me down all of the roads as we went. I watched the scenery as I drove behind him, small flashes of memory flickering across my vision, allowing me to recognize this route as the way we drove together as a couple for many many years, then it dawned on me. He has clothes for me because I used to live there. I used to share a closet with him. I used to share a bed and house and the responsibility of raising a small child.

My fingers clenched around the wheel as we pulled into our respective spots on the driveway.

Dean never let go of my old clothes or pictures which means he never let go of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave you on a cliff hanger (Not really). R&R please! Constructive criticism is always appreciated. I'll try to get the next chapter done and posted soon.
> 
> The blog: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/trench-coat-angels  
> Get updates from tumblr on this story here: https://spinoffcinnamonroll.tumblr.com/  
> Fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/8174180/Trench-Coat-Angels  
> Written by: Cinnamon  
> Edited by: Brownie (CallousMalice)  
> CallousMalice's profile: http://archiveofourown.org/users/CallousMalice/pseuds/CallousMalice


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter is here! I’m sorry it’s on the tail end of the month, I have no idea where time goes, I really have no excuse except maybe Driver’s Ed but still. Shout out to Kachina_oa for your Kudos and all the anonymous readers who left kudos here as well! (Shout out as well to anyone who left kudos on my other stuff, thanks so much!!) I really appreciate them, thanks so much for your support, you guys are absolutely amazing. Now without further ado, chapter 8!

Dean’s POV

I took a deep breath before I got out of Baby, closing and locking her quickly before bolting for cover under the entryway of the house. Cas was beside me seconds later. I quickly unlocked the door and instantly a pair of arms was wrapped around my waist as far as little arms would permit. That was when I came to a realization heralded by the sighs of fathers everywhere. I’d forgotten the ice cream. 

“Daddy what took you so long!?” Nova’s voice worriedly asked as she clutched me tightly. “You said you’d be back a half hour ago!”

“I know baby girl, I’m sorry. Daddy got… distracted…” I trailed off, turning to Cas. I stared at the empty space by my side and looked even farther behind me, noticing his tall figure still standing on the porch under the entry way.

“Cas, won’t you come in?” I asked. Cas looked startled at being addressed, eyes blinking up at me almost wonderingly, before hesitantly walking through the front door, closing it behind him. I turned back to Nova, who looked surprised at the sight of her father, to say the least. Her palms opened and closed, like she was grabbing the air in front of her, anchoring her attention on Cas. She left the room for a second before coming back with Stella the Starfish, a present from Gabe from when she was two, expression still open and searching, lingering on Cas. 

Nova crossed her arms protectively over Stella in a tight hug. Her gaze then traveled with unnerving thoroughness to me, sharp tongue at the ready to condemn me in a few short word. 

“You didn’t get any ice cream, did you?”

Fuck. I hung my head in shame and shook my head no. I peeked my head up at her and saw the biggest pout I’d ever seen take over her face, lip trembling and all. I never stood a chance. Still, with the crumbling remains of my pride at stake, I owed it to myself to try.

“B-but daddy! I can’t live without my nightly scoop of ice cream!” She exclaimed.

“Yes, yes you can. I’ve seen you do it.” My fate was sealed. “ But since I forgot I’ll go back out and get you some, okay?” I gave in and her face instantly brightened. The fight was over, the smoke had cleared revealing the fuzzy galaxy footie pajama-clad victor.

“Yay, thank you daddy!” She hopped around a bit, Stella flailing around in her hand as she moved. I heard a small giggle beside me as Cas watched her happy dance, and against my better judgement I felt myself melt. Just a little bit, though. 

“Okay, baby girl, if I’m going to get ice cream I need you to show Cas where the guest room is while I get him some dry clothes.”

Nova gave me a look of uncertainty, further worrying me considering her initial reactions to Cas being there. I reached my hand out for her to take and walked her to the linen closet for towels, telling Cas to make himself comfortable in the living room.

Once we reached the closet, I crouched down till I was eye level with her.

“What’s wrong, baby girl? I can tell something is bugging you.” 

“I can see that it’s Papa, but he doesn’t remember us. I can tell he's not the same, and I know you can, too. Why is he here?” She looked me in the eye. Her next sentence holding a small whine in it. “My instincts are telling me to hug him, but I can’t, Daddy.”

I hung my head low before turning away from her with the pretence of grabbing a towel from the closet, composing myself as best I could and closing it again. Turning to look at Nova, I knew I had to choose my next words carefully. 

“He’s here because it’s too dangerous for him to drive home in the rain, especially in the distance he has to go.” I lowered my voice for reasons I wasn’t entirely sure of, “ I’m sure that if you asked him you could give him a hug, Nova. he won’t bite, I promise.” I smiled sincerely at my daughter, whose eyes widened just that much more at my last comment. She quickly shook her head no, looking frightened and hopeful all at once. 

“Okay baby girl, let’s go back and get him settled.” 

Nova went down the hall, and I watched her go, mustering up my nerves before I followed her path, to where she was handing a thoroughly drenched Cas a towel. 

“This way to the guest room!” She said cheerily before marching up the stairs like a soldier. Cas chuckled softly at his dau- Nova’s actions before following her up the stairs. I trailed behind, going in the opposite direction to the master bedroom opening up the closet. I looked at the left side of the closet, still covered by the sliding doors. Out of habit I had opened my end of the closet. I sucked in a breath before sliding open the other side, revealing Cas’ old clothes. I picked up a pair of pajamas off the slot inside the closet organizer and set them on the bed. 

I took them to the guest room where I could hear Nova giggling loudly. I entered to see Cas telling a very animated story about a mighty dragon and the female knight that went to slay it. I listened unnoticed in the doorway as Nova watched Cas’ hands as he made motions with them to help describe his story. He had gotten to the part of when the knight meets the dragon before noticing me. 

“Hello Dean.” 

I tensed up at the achingly familiar use of my name but quickly recovered. 

“Hey Cas,” I responded. “I have some pajamas for you. Do you want me to wash your clothes or give you some new ones for tomorrow?”

“I think it’s a little late to start some laundry, so I can borrow some clothes and wash mine at home.” Cas responded as he got up to retrieve the pajamas. 

“Okay. I’ll bring you some when I get back. I need to leave before the store closes.” I turned to Nova. “Take good care of Cas while I’m gone, ‘kay baby girl?”

“Okie-Dokie artichokie!” She giggled before trying to salute me. I laughed at that before walking over and giving her a big bear hug. 

“I’ll be back in a bit, Nova.” 

“Okay Daddy.”

With that I left the room and made my way to Baby. The sky coughed out great gouts of water that felt apt to take out everything in it’s path. But somehow it wasn’t until I got to the store and the cashier near the door, an older woman, was looking at me with such incredible worry, that I realized I was soaked to the bone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please read, review, leave Kudos or whatever else you want, seeing how people like my work really helps me write. Thank you again! I hope to get the next chapter out soon.
> 
> ~Cinnamon


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Here is another chapter for Finding You! I want to thank everyone for all the support I’ve gotten from Your Hoodie, I was in complete shock when I opened my email. Thank you all so much! Now, onto the new chapter! (r&r please!)

I noticed the rain had let up by the time I exited the store, after multiple reassurances to the poor cashier that I was fine and only needed ice cream, of course. I put the ice cream in the trunk on top of the false bottom. It’s still full of all of my gear, though I taught Nova to not go in there without me present. I keep the perishables fresh and check inventory regularly so nothing ever goes bad or spills in there.

I got myself onto the road a minute later, the sound of Baby’s engine calming to me. As I drove, memories of Cas resurfaced from where I had buried them deep. Flashes of images spread across my vision, making it hard to concentrate on the road.

_“Do you think she’ll like us?” I asked nervously as I slid into the front seat of the Impala. Cas followed my actions on the passenger side._

_“I’m sure she will, Dean.” Cas replied with a calm I didn’t currently possess as he buckled his seatbelt. Once I had started to drive to their destination, Cas started to get giddy, practically bouncing in his seat._

_“Dean, we’re finally going to be parents!” He said happily, mouth curled up in the biggest smile. I grinned widely._

_“You’re going to be the best, baby.” I mused as I clasped Cas’ hand in mine._

The memory of Cas’ voice became more prominent as the rain began to pick up against the windshield again.

_“Dean,” Cas began, chuckling. “You realize we’re married, right?”_

_“Of course.” I grinned. “That just makes it funnier!”_

_Cas giggled and leaned in to peck me on the lips. We pulled apart, only for me to pull Cas back against me._

I tried my hardest to pay attention to the road in front of me and not to the painful memories that are only painful because Cas doesn’t remember them.

_“Dean, I love you,”_

With that I pulled over to the side of the road. I couldn’t drive anymore without the risk of crashing. My vision was blurred to the point that I couldn’t see through my windshield and my eyes began to blur, This was not the time for tears, but it was also the best. I had to be strong for Nova as soon as I stepped through that door, and this was one of those rare moments I get to myself, completely alone. I took advantage of that, not caring about the ice cream in the back.

~Cas’ POV~

I hung up my now damp trench coat on the hook provided on the back of the door. I felt a pair of eyes boring into me, and turned to see Nova staring at me intently, as if she was trying to memorize how I looked. The thought made my heart drop into my stomach.

“Yes, Nova?”

She looked startled for a second as her train of thought was broken.  
“I-it’s nothing. Wanna look at pictures? Daddy doesn’t like to admit it, but his guilty pleasure is scrapbooking,” She says hurriedly, before rushing to the closet, getting up on her tiptoes to pull out a stack of photo albums, before plopping them on the bed and climbing up to the best of her ability.

I chuckled and joined her on the edge of the bed, opening up the one that was the newest, still in the making in fact.

“There is me at my school’s Daddy - Daughter dance a couple months ago! I made daddy wear pink to match the dress he helped me pick out!” Nova giggled, pointing to a picture of her and Dean. Dean was standing against a white brick wall of what could only be assumed as the school, Nova standing in front of him. His hands were clasped around her hands as she stood on her tiptoes, leaning forward slightly, both wearing huge smiles. Dean was wearing a pair of black slacks, a pale pink shirt, grey sweater vest and a pink striped tie, effectively matching Nova’s cream, pink and brown dress paired with white tights and some black Mary Janes. I smiled, even as I felt an odd lump forming in my throat.

We went on like this for a while, going backwards in time as Nova explained the significance of each photo to me. Soon, we were three albums in, both of us completely enraptured.

“And here is the last time we went to the aquarium…” Nova trailed off as she looked at the photo she was pointing at. It was a picture of me, the first I’d seen in this montage. I was standing with a very young Nova perched on my shoulders. Nova is pointing at a fish swimming past, grinning toothy grin. I studied my features, a huge smile decorated my face as I looked at where she was pointing. A sliver ring was prominent on the hand that was visibly holding Nova’s ankle, the same silver ring that I’d seen Dean wear.

~Flash back~

_“Papa look, Flounder!” Nova said excitedly, pointing at the tropical fish that looked like Flounder from The Little Mermaid. I laughed at the reference to her favorite movie, smiling widely up at my daughter as we both studied the fish. I heard a camera click and turned to see Dean studying his phone with a smile._

_“Look at this one, Cas! This is one for the album for sure!” He gushed as he showed the picture to me. I giggled and leaned in, kissing him._

_“Awwwwww” a voice interrupted from above. We broke the kiss to see Nova grinning down at us. “Daddy and Papa love each other!”_

_Dean laughed and looked at me._

_“Why yes Nova, we sure do.”_

~End~

I shook my head at the sudden memory, my head suddenly fuzzy. Just then the door opened revealing a drenched Dean. He smiled at Nova as she lept off the bed and skidded over to him. She took in his appearance with a great deal of concern, but she must have seen something in his eyes, for she bit her tongue.

“Daddy did you get ice cream?”

“Yes Nova I did, it’s down stairs in the freezer. You can get yourself a small bowl, okay?” Dean responded, a playful but firm tone added to his voice. Nova nodded quickly before dashing out of the room to the kitchen. Dean then turned to me, eyeing the mess of photos and albums strewn across the bed.

“I see she showed you my darkest secret,” he chuckled sarcastically as he walked over to the bed. He eyed the page the latest scrapbook was open to, seeing the picture depicting the memory I had just remembered. He met my eyes, and behind the strong demeanor he held, I saw the sadness in there too. I couldn’t find it in myself to say anything about it, though.

“You want some ice cream? I got mint chip, vanilla and chocolate.” Dean asked, looking away as he spoke.

“No thank you, Dean. I get enough of it at work,” I decline. He nods.

“I forgot, you’re an ice cream man,” He laughs hollowly before making his way to the door. “Bathroom is around the corner, anything you need for a shower or to brush your teeth is in the set of cabinets next to it. If you need me for anything, I’m the last door at the end of the hall.” He pauses. “Good night, Cas.”

I stared fixedly at him, breath stuttering as I tried to take in a deep breath. I felt incredibly helpless as I watched him go.

“Good night, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so evil and I'm (not) sorry. Thank you for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 10! Finally at double digits! And it’s so early in the month. I’m kinda proud of myself. *Pats self on back* Thank you for reading this far if you are and thanks for all the love on this story! This chapter should be a little more light hearted but none the less angsty since that seems to be all I write. Thanks for reading, R&R and I love you guys! Please enjoy.

~Dean POV~

“Daddy, Daddy!” A voice whispered. I lifted my hand tiredly to bat at my ear, where the voice was coming from. “Daddy get up! Let’s make breakfast!” 

I cracked open an eye to see my daughter now in front of me, smiling widely with bright eyes. I blinked blearily, trying to force myself awake. 

“You want me to make breakfast?” I asked stupidly, just repeating what my eight year old had said. 

“Yes Daddy, we have a guest remember? You always said to feed your guests breakfast in the morning.” She said and then added, as if to clarify further, “To be a good host.” 

She was right of course, I had taught her that when a guest was in the house you made breakfast for them in the morning. But I was bone tired from a relatively sleepless night, so I just wasn’t feeling up to it. There was nothing I could do but push my way through it. I sighed and rolled so that I was sitting on the edge of my bed. I motioned for Nova to come in closer, to which she quickly obliged. 

“Listen closely, Nova. I need you to find me some breakfast sausage and the pancake mix while I get dressed, okay?” She nodded, and without so much as a second thought she ran out of the room to get what I had told her to do.

~Cas POV~

I woke up to the smell of something that was so heavenly it was almost sinful. Pancakes. I tried to ignore it, claiming to myself that I was too tired to move, but the smell became too powerful to resist, and it ultimately won me over.

I rolled out of bed and made my way to the kitchen while rubbing my eyes tiredly, hearing the voices of Dean and Nova as I got closer.

“Daddy, can I crack this egg?” Nova asked giddily as Dean picked up an egg.

“Sure baby girl. You know how to do it?”

“Yes! I just watched you do it! I got this, Daddy,” Nova responded sassily as she stepped up on a step stool to reach above the counter. She held an egg resting delicately in her hand before bringing it down on the edge of the cup, breaking the shell with a satisfying CRACK. She quickly spread the two shell pieces apart, not getting a single egg shell piece in the glass as she carefully dispose of the remains. For my part, I was extremely impressed. And also proud, a realization I quickly forced to the back of my mind. She wiped off her hands and high fived Dean,

“I did it, Daddy! I did it!” She exclaimed excitedly. Dean laughed, his expression heartbreakingly fond as he gazed down at her, and I chose this moment to walk in.

“What smells so good?” I mused as I entered the room, both occupants turning towards me.

“Breakfast!” Nova exclaimed with a bolstering amount of confidence, considering that to be all the information needed. I for one was convinced. Dean flipped a pancake.

“We made your favorite, Cas. Sausage patties with pancakes and scrambled eggs.” Dean clarified as he put the pancake in the oven to keep warm. He finished putting the sausages on a plate before whisking the cup of eggs after adding some pepper and salt. He poured the mixture in a hot buttered pan and scrambled up the eggs. Once they were done he shoveled some onto a clean plate, then added sausage and a couple pancakes. He handed the plate to me and pointed to the small dining table. 

“We’re sitting there for breakfast. Nova I thought I asked you to set the table?” Dean asked, slightly miffed at her forgetfulness.

“Whoops! Sorry Daddy,” she darted around the kitchen quickly, setting out the necessary condiments and silverware on the table at lightning speed.

“Thank you, Nova, Dean,” I said as I took a seat at the circular table, facing the kitchen. I waited patiently for Nova and Dean to join me, shooting off a silent prayer of thanks out of habit. 

Once we were all seated, we dug in.   
~Dean POV~ 

Soon enough all of us were laughing as the conversation came easily after a couple minutes. Cas drew a smiley face in maple syrup on Nova’s pancake, to which she was highly amused. As we ate Nova rambled on about a school field trip to the art museum that had happened a week prior. I had already heard about it, in fact I’d chaperoned it, but I loved hearing the way she recounted it as a harrowing adventure.

“And Daddy walked right into one of the museum signs! The look on his face as it happened was so awesome!” Nova explained as Cas tried to keep the food he was eating in his mouth and not all over the table due to uproarious laughter.

“Hey!” I said in mock offense as I shoveled a piece of pancake into my mouth. Nova giggled. 

I glanced over at the clock and nearly choked when I saw the time glaring damningly down at me.

“Crap I’m gonna be late. I have to go to work!” I exclaimed as I shoved the remainder of my food in my mouth. “Nova you too, you have a late start today but you still have to get ready, go go go,” 

As Nova dashed upstairs I picked up dishes and brought them to the sink. I watched Cas get up and walk towards me. 

“Thank you for breakfast. I can do the dishes,” He smiled.

“Oh no, Cas. I can’t ask you to do that,” I protested

“You never asked, I insist on it. Go get ready for work so you aren’t late. I’m sure I can figure out where everything is,”

I gave him a look which was met with a ‘I’m doing this, don’t try to change my mind,” look. One I remembered all too well. I sighed.

“Thanks Cas, I’ll be back in a couple minutes.” With that I ran off.

~Cas POV~

I opened up the dishwasher and steadily put dishes away, not even thinking about it as I completed the simple chore. As I put the last glass away I realized that I’d never actually gone looking to find where everything went in this kitchen. I’d just put everything away by muscle memory. I sighed. At least I had that.

I began to wash and load the dishwasher when Nova rushed in. She was searching frantically for something. What, I didn’t know. 

“What are you looking for, Nova?” I asked.

“Homework. I can’t find my homework.” She mumbled. She dumped her bag on one of the seats and dug through her bag. I looked around the room and saw a sheet of paper lying on one of the counters, a coloured in page of a dot to dot.

“Is this it?” I asked and turned around. She looked up and her face instantly lit up.

“Yes! That’s it! Thank you, Papa!” She smiled and grabbed it before rushing out the door to grab the bus. I smiled and continued the dishes. A couple minutes passed and then Dean then walked in. 

“Did Nova already rush out?” Dean asked as he grabbed Baby’s keys off of the table next to the door and walked back to me. 

“Yup she just dashed out.” I replied as I put a soap tab in the dishwasher, closed it and turned it on before turning to him.

“Okay. I’m outta here. I lo-” Dean stopped his sentence short. He winced, and I felt something in me crack.

“I-I forgot to wash your clothes. The laundry room is through that door if you want to wash them before you leave…” 

“I’ll get on that and then I’ll leave for my apartment. Thanks for letting me stay last night,”

“You’re welcome, Cas,” Dean sighed and began to walk to the door. He opened it up and stopped short. “Don’t be a stranger, Cas. You’re always welcome here.” And with that Dean closed the door. I don’t know how long I had been standing there looking at the door he’d just left through before I came to my senses, shaking my head as if to clear it as I headed to where Dean had indicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I really appreciate you guys! See you next chapter!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! New chapter! Two in a month! I know, crazy, but OutsiderDirectioner here on AO3 (shout out to you, love ya!) asked for a new one this month so here it is! Just a fore warning though, this wont happen often since school starts on Monday! I'll have no time but I'll make some for you guys. Also, I want to be able to interact with you guys more, so I made a tumblr blog where I'll post updates and shoutouts and such. Go check it out! (look up TrenchCoatAngels or trenchcoatangelsfanfiction.tumblr.com on tumblr)

Hello again! New chapter! Two in a month! I know, crazy, but OutsiderDirectioner on AO3 asked for a new one this month so here it is! Just a fore warning though, this wont happen often since school starts on Monday! I'll have no time but I'll make some for you guys. Also, I want to be able to interact with you guys more, so I made a tumblr blog where I'll post updates and shoutouts and such. Go check it out! (look up TrenchCoatAngels or .com on tumblr)

~Dean POV~

About a week later, I woke up from a small nap to my phone buzzing on the coffee table next to me, having passed out from doing some minor house chores on my day off. I sighed and picked up the phone, seeing Gabriel's caller ID across the screen. I sigh an slide to accept the call and put the phone to my ear. I check my watch for the time as I answer.

"Hello, this is Dean,"

"Heyo, Dean-o. It's Gabe. I got a small proposition for ya," Gabe's chirped through the line.

"What would that be, Gabe?" I replied tiredly, acknowledging the time was five minutes past three. I panicked for a second before I remembered that Nova was going to a slumber party tonight, and I didn't have to pick her up. I sighed in relief.

"Two words, Dean. Laser. Tag," Gabe emphasised. I cocked a brow, knowing full well he couldn't see my face.

"Laser Tag, Gabe? Don't you think we're kinda old for that?"

"You're never too old for laser tag Dean! Whatever gave you that assumption?"

"The fact that I haven't gone laser tagging since I was sixteen might have had something to do with it," I replied snarkily as I got up to go get some food. Man, am I famished.

"That's not my problem, Dean. Are you in or not?" Gabe snarked back.

I mulled it over for a second. "When and where?"

I heard a muffled 'Yes!' before I got a response.

"Today, four thirty-ish at Vancouver Laser Tag. I'll text you the address."

"Okay. Is it just you and I, or will my baby brother be joining us?"

"Yes of course Sam will be joining us! He's motioning to me to give him the phone, hold on," the sound of the phone being passed from hand to hand was heard before I heard Sam's voice on the other end.

"Hey there Dean,"

"Hey yourself. Sammy, what's up?" I responded as I pulled a pie out of the fridge. Nova had specifically told me not to eat any while she was away, but I'm the adult and I bought it, so I get a piece.

"So, I was conned into this by my delightful husband here, but there are only three of us. We need another player, and I think you should invite Cas," I swallowed my bite of pie thickly.

"You want me to invite Cas laser tagging?"

"That is what I just asked, yes,"

"O-okay, I'll give him a call." I find myself responding.. I don't know why I agreed to it but I couldn't take it back now.

"Great! I'll see you in a bit!" Sam says before hanging up the phone. I stand in the kitchen, slightly confused before I realize I have to call Cas if he's going to get there on time.

I quickly press his contact and wait for him to pick. I'm nervous as a june bride, though I have no reason to be. He picks up.

"Hello, this is Castiel," Cas rumbles, sounding tired.

"Hey Cas, it's Dean," I reply.

"Hello Dean. Do you need something?"

"Yeah, Gabe and Sam invited us laser tagging," I answer as I put the pie away. "Gabe is your older brother, Sam is my younger brother," I clarified quickly when I realized he'd have no recollection of who they were.

"Oh," Cas mumbled. I could practically hear him rubbing his face in thought.

"Please Cas, we really need the other player," I pushed, going back to my cut piece of pie and taking another bite.

"I don't know Dean, I don't know anyone other than you," he reasoned.

"All the more reason, Cas. Don't you want to meet your older brother at least?"

"I guess," Cas said under his breath.

"Great. It's settled then. I'll pick you up in an hour. Wear worn out clothes, you'll be rolling around a lot."

"Dean w-" with that I hung up the phone, not taking no for an answer.

~Cas POV~

I listened to the dial tone at the other end of the line. I sighed. I guess I had no choice. I looked at the clock and got up from my couch to where I had just sat down and went to go get changed, sighing heavily for the second time in frustration.

He was lucky I had managed to get off work early today.

~Dean POV~

An hour later I pulled up to the apartment complex that Cas had described to me and parked baby. I looked down at my hand where I had written down the apartment number and began my search. I finally reached the door i needed after several minutes of searching, only to find Cas already there and leaning up against the wall, slightly amused.

"What's so funny?" I asked, annoyance lacing my tone. I couldn't be annoyed for long though. I stood and admired him discreetly , taking in his washed out jeans that seemed to shape his legs perfectly, his grey AC/DC t-shirt and worn out light grey and dark blue flannel that he had rolled up to his elbows. To me, he looked stunning as ever. I snapped myself out of it once I heard Cas' voice.

"Oh nothing. Ready to go?" he replied, pushing himself up off the wall and then walking towards me. I sucked in a breath sharply before replying.

"Yeah, this way. We're only a couple minutes from the laser tag place. If we're lucky we'll beat Gabe and Sammy there,"

"Okay let's go,"

We walked to Baby in silence. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, but it made the trip to the car that much longer. Once we were both buckled into the Impala, we set out down the road. After several minutes of driving I turned into a parking lot. The lot was packed with cars, but I could see people leaving, mostly teenage boys, who had been there for the afternoon. It was now early evening, time for the adults to kick some ass.

"You ready to kick some ass, Cas?" I looked over and was greeted with a smirk.

"You know it Dean. Your ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it."

"What?" I looked at him surprised. That did not just come out of his mouth.

"What?" He echoed innocently. I was not convinced. With that he opened up his car door and I followed suit, still in slight shock. Just then I saw Gabe and Sam pull into the vacant spot next to us, Sam revving the engines of his mustang before turning off the engine. Gabe hopped out a moment later.

"Hey there, baby bro! Long time no see!" He yelled out in greeting, awkwardly punching his arm. Sam gave his husband a look before greeting me with a big hug.

"Hi Dean, how ya doing?" He asked as he clapped my back before pulling away from me.

"I'm good, how about you, Sammy?" I replied as we began to walk towards the building.

"I'm great. Ready to play some laser tag?"

"Oh boy, your ass is about to be whooped."

"Nuh uh, I'd say that would be you," Sam laughed as he pulled open the door, Gabe and Cas following suit. Gabe was animatedly explaining something to Cas, who was smiling at his description.

We all lined up behind the small line of men paying their way in, the four of us making small talk.

"So Cas, where are you working now?" Sam asks as we wait. Cas blinks rapidly.

"U-uh the Super Natural Ice Cream Company down the street," He replied hesitantly, adding an awkward smile to finish off his sentence.

"Wait really? Bro, I love ice cream you should give me a discount," Gabe giggled. "A Bro discount,"

"Uh I don't think my boss would take kindly to that," Cas responded, cocking an eyebrow.

"No worries I was only joking. Or was I? I might have been serious. Think about it Cassy-"

"Don't call me that,"

"Some things never change. Anyway, think about it. I'm your older brother, a discount wouldn't hurt anything,"

"You'll have to wait until we advertise a discount or some other penny saving promotion. You don't get special treatment just because you're my brother,"

Gabe sighed and shook his head, exasperated at his younger brother's stubbornness. But there was no denying the way his whiskey eyes lit up with a certain fondness reserved only for a choice few. We finally got to the front of the line about a minute later, all of us shelling up the necessary money. Just as Cas reached in to get his wallet, I waved his hand away.

"Don't worry about it Cas, I got you. I dragged you down here I might as well pay for you," Cas' eyes widened.

"Oh no, Dean. I couldn't ask you to do that for me-"

"You didn't ask and I'm not taking no for an answer. If it helps, think of it as reimbursement for cleaning up breakfast the other morning," I argued. I watched as Cas shut up and a flush travelled up from his neck turning his face a bright red. I analyzed what I had just said and realized what that may have sounded like to the couple next to us. Good God, I feel like I'm back in the bunker all over again.

I made eye contact with Gabe, who waggled his eyebrows, but thankfully said nothing. Sam snickered behind his hand, but also stayed silent. I squinted at them in warning before turning and paying the cashier for the next session.

~Le time skip~

"I totally kicked your ass, Dean!" Sam laughed as we exited the arena, putting back the borrowed gear from where we found them.

"You did not! You're going blind, I obviously won," I retorted with a laugh.

"Hey, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass. The computer outside will tell us who won if you guys would stop bickering for a second," Gabe laughed. Sam huffed and followed his husband. Cas and I followed suit, Cas snickering the whole way.

The four of us piled around the screen that told us our scores, pushing and shoving lightly (or as the case often was anything but) to see. All of a sudden Gabe shot up, nearly head butting Sam in the nose.

"What the hell, babe?" Sam exclaimed as he narrowly dodged the attack.

"Cas won!" Gabe cackled. Cas' eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Me?" He asked pointing to himself. Gabe calmed down a bit and nodded, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Yeah, you. And Squirrel here got last!" Gabe doubled over in laughter again.

"Ha! So I did beat you! You're getting old, Dean!" Sam slapped me on the back.

"Hey, I'm not old, just out of practice maybe. I'm raising a kid you know," I retorted.

"That shouldn't be any excuse Dean," Cas added before looking at the screen," And Sam here only beat you by one point so it looks like his skills are rusty too," Sam shut up then and gulped.

"Ooohhhh, do you need some ice?" Gabe chuckled, kissing Sam on the cheek, to which he received a glare. "Oooh boy the death glare, c'mon Cas, these boys need to mend their wounded pride!"

The brothers bounded off to the soda vending machine in the corner, to which Sam and I followed suit after a moment of, well, mending our "wounded pride."

"They rise! Hooray! Now what?" Gabe asked as he took a swig of his root beer.

"We should all probably head home. I have to pick up Nova tomorrow from a friends house and she'll kill me if I'm late."

"Yeah and I have work in the morning." Cas added.

"Okay then, we'll all go home and eat by our lonesome selves- well, except for Sam and I, we got each other- and then this will be a distant memory of when we all had free time?" Gabe clapped his hands together. "Just what I had hoped for!"

"Sorry Gabe, you know Nova. I gotta go. I'll see you later?" I begin to reach for a hug goodbye when he pushes me away and points a finger in my face.

"Hey hey, there Dean-o, I'm not done yet. Sam and I…" He trails off and looks to Sam, who nods in encouragement. "Sam and I have some news for you two,"

"Oh?" I ask, taking a seat at the nearby empty table. Cas sat down next to me and Gabe and Sam followed suit, sitting across from us. Once settled, Gabe spoke.

"We're going to adopt a kid. We think it's time," Gabe said, reaching for Sam's hand, which he gladly took. I brightened instantly.

"Nova is getting a cousin?"

"At some point, we don't know when yet. We're going to an interest meeting later this week to prepare for it," Sam explained. I smiled and looked over to Cas, who was smiling even wider than I was.

"That's amazing news!" Cas looked at me, wearing a similar expression of delight, then back at them. "Congratulations."

"Congratulations!" I added on.

"Thanks," Sam said sheepishly, to which Gabe laughed and squeezed his hand.

"We should all get going now then. Shall we?" Sam got up and offered his arm to Gabe, who accepted gladly.

"That we shall,"

With that, the four of us exchanged congratulatory hugs before leaving the laser tag place, and heading to our cars. There was one last round of hugs before Cas and I got into Baby, Sam and Gabe into the mustang before we all drove away.

On the way to Cas' apartment I looked over to him and smiled.

"Hey Cas, Nova wanted me to tell you about something at school,"

"Hmm what's that,"

"She's auditioning for the school play and she'd like your help to prepare if you're free,"

"Sure, I can do that," Cas replied, smiling. I smiled back.

"Great."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! R&R ( follow me on tumblr for updates!)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’M SO SORRY I have disappeared for a whole month and I didn’t post I’m so sorry life got in the way (Technically I had a chapter for a different fic written and ready but a certain friend of mine *cough*youknowwhoyouare*cough* never got around to editing it so I didn’t post because I hate posting unedited work unless it’s a one shot) But those are all excuses, so I’m going to sit her and continue to apologize and hope it won’t happen again. I hope you enjoy!! (Thanks Brownie for editing this you’re amazing, love you!)

~Dean POV~

“Hello, this is Maple Hills Elementary, this is Janet speaking. How may I help you?” A thick New Jersey accent drawled through the receiver. I winced, realizing I’d drawn the metaphorical short straw on which receptionist picked up. 

“Hey Janet, this is Dean Winchester-Novak calling,”

“Oh!” Janet exclaimed. I waited for the immediate switch to the unwanted flirtation. “What can I help you with, Mr. Win-”

“I’m calling to let you know someone else is picking up Nova today,” I interrupted, not wanting to sit through her flirtatious purr today.

She hesitated in reaction to my admittedly rude cut off, but then replied. “Who will be picking her up today?”

It was my turn to hesitate. How do I introduce Cas? As Castiel Novak? Or Castiel Winchester-Novak? I opted for Castiel Novak, best to stay on the safe side.

“Castiel Novak.” I supplied, looking over at the clock. I really had to get back to work. I’m staying late enough as it is.

“Alright, Mr. Winchester-Novak. I’ll send her pass to her classroom right away.” Janet affirmed. “Anything else, Mr. Winchester-Novak?”

“Not at this time. Thank you, Janet,” I answered, quickly hanging up the phone. I sighed and got back to work.

~Cas POV~

I arrived at the school five minutes early, told by Dean to go to the front office to check in because I’d never been there before. I walked through to the inside the spacious office, decorated in the school’s colors.

I walked up to the front desk where a red head was sitting. Her skin was pale, and her hair was a dark, maroon red, like the color you get from a bottle dyed and cropped to her shoulders. She had matching glasses propped on her nose, in classic librarian frames. She was too busy typing away on the computer to notice my entrance.

I walked up to the desk hesitantly, and then cleared my throat to catch the woman's attention. She looked up immediately. 

“Hello there, Sir, how may I help you today?” The Jersey accent startled me. I remembered Dean’s warning about her, and to be cautious. She flirts with anything that walks, regardless of marital status. 

“I’m here to pick up Nova Winchester-Novak? I’m Castiel Novak,” I replied, already uncomfortable under her stare. 

“Oh, Mr. Novak. Thank you for checking in, if you could just wait where all the other parents are, Nova will find you.” She smiled though it was visibly strained. I nodded a thank you and then went and joined the other parents. I found a spot to stand just as the final bell rang. A huge throng of small children began to flood the hall immediately, filling the open hallway with sound. I watched and waited for Nova as children ran out and met up with parents. I scanned the crowd and made eye contact with a set of bright green eyes. The eyes immediately lit up and I realized it was Nova that I had made eye contact with.

“Cas!” She called excitedly, running up to me and giving me a huge bear hug. I instinctively hugged her back, feeling protective all of a sudden. I shoved the feeling away, knowing I no longer had the right to feel that way for a child I hadn’t been there to raise.

“Hey Nova,” I smiled brightly at her, a genuine smile. I stood up and took her hand, walking her to my car. 

“How was school, Nova?” I asked, turning to make sure she was buckled in once she had gotten into my car.

“It was okay. Today was honestly pretty boring. Recess was fun though. And the play rehearsal was the best part!” She explained, waving her hands up and down to prove her point. I smiled.

“That’s awesome, Nova,” I started the car and began the drive to her house. We sat in a comfortable silence for a while, until I broke it.

“What play are you doing again, Nova?” I asked as we turned down her street. I looked at her through my rearview mirror and saw her face light up visibly at my question. 

“We’re doing the Wizard of Oz! Guess what part I got, guess what part I got!” SHe replied giddily, jumping up and down in her seat. I grinned.

“What part did you get, Nova?”

“Dorothy! I got Dorothy!” She squealed, not even trying to conceal her excitement. 

“That’s great, Nova!” I felt my grin grow wider. 

I pulled into her driveway and shut off the car. I helped the bubbly child out before letting her into the house via the hidden-key Dean had informed me about several hours earlier. 

“Do you think you’ll be able to help me with my lines, Cas?” She asked sweetly after dumping her stuff unceremoniously on the floor. 

“Yes Nova, after you pick up your stuff and do your homework. Your father wouldn’t be too happy if you blew it off.”

She huffed a breath of slight irritation before picking up her bag and heading towards the kitchen table. She set her bag next to one of the lightly toned chairs before unzipping the bag and pulling out several worksheets and handing them to me.

“These are so hard,” Nova whined slightly, pouting. I took the work sheets out of her hand and saw the rows of multiplication tables on one, a simple cursive worksheet on another, and a basic creative writing prompt on another. I looked at Nova with a raised eyebrow.

“Nova, you’re kidding right? If you think this is hard, wait until you get to high school when it’s six periods a day and all of your homework assigned on that day is due the next, not by the end of the week,”

Nova’s eyes widened in shock, her mouth slightly open as she stared up at me.

“Is that really what high school is like?” She asked.

“A far as I know. I didn’t go to high school, at least not that I can remember. But that’s what I’ve heard,” I nodded as Nova stared at the worksheets in my hand. She took them from me gently and sat down at the table, and began to work diligently on her math homework. I heard my phone go off in my pocket just then.

“Nova, I need to take this, call me if you need any help,” I told her. She nodded, her eyes never moving from her paper. I walked away from the kitchen to the hallway, picking up the phone along the way.

“Hello, this is Castiel,” I answered, pressing the device to my ear.

“Hey Cas it’s Dean, I’m just checking up on you guys, making sure you got home okay,” Dean’s voice cut through the receiver. 

“Yes Dean, we got home fine, Nova is doing her homework now, and I’ll be helping her with her lines for the play once she’s done,”

“Thank you so much, Cas, I didn’t expect to be help up at work today, sorry,” Dean blabbed, continuing to express his apologies until I stopped him.

“Dean it’s fine. Anything I can do to help, alright?” I responded, adding a light hearted chuckle to the end.

“Yeah. Thanks again, Cas. I have to get back to work, I’ll be home around six, okay?” 

“Okay Dean. I’ll see you then,”

“Bye, Cas,”

“Goodbye Dean,”

I hung up the phone and put in my pocket. I walked back over to Nova, who was working her way through the last couple problems of multiplication before she handed it to me to check. I checked over it, circling the few that were wrong with a pencil while she worked on the cursive writing sheet. 

This continued on for almost thirty minutes, Nova working, me checking and her re-doing whatever the assignment was. After that was done she pulled out her script and handed it to me. 

“Would you please read whatever lines aren’t mine so i can practice?” She asked politely. I nodded and flipped to the first place where I saw the highlighted words and got to work.

 

~Dean’s POV~

I walked in through my front door, dead tired from the rush job that had kept me for so late, entering the living room which was filled with laughter and voices.

“Okay Nova, we’re going to go over this part again, no laughing this time!” Cas chastised lightly, standing on his knees to reach Nova’s height as he held the bright blue script in his hand. She giggled and nodded, trying to compose herself until her eyes landed on me and that went right out the window. 

“Daddy, daddy! You’re home! Come over here, quick! We need a Wicked Witch of the West!” She called as she ran over to me, grabbing my hand and dragging me as much as her little body could into the living room. I laughed and got onto my knees with Cas, who was pointing to a line on the script before him. I leaned over and read it.

“Ha ha! I have you now, my pretty!” I said, slightly confused at why I was reading for the Witch and not for Scarecrow or Tin Man.

“Aw, come on daddy, I know you can read parts better than that. Try again, this time, say it like you mean it!” She directed, crossing her arms over her chest. I laughed a little and the repeated the line, adding in a high voice with a snarl to match. She giggled delighted, before saying her line, and Cas gruffly intoned his as the Cowardly Lion. 

This continued on until the whole play had been gone over, almost an hour later.

“Damn, Cas you’ve been here a long time. Let me offer you dinner, as thanks,” I offered as I got up from the floor and made my way to the kitchen. Nova had gone upstairs to put her stuff away.

“Sure, in fact I’d like to help if you don’t mind,” Cas replied, making his way behind me.

We worked together in silence, pulling out what was needed for burritos that night. I noticed that Cas seemed to know where everything was, but I waved it off, reasoning that he had to put the dishes away last time so he'd naturally know where everything is.

I pulled a spoon out of the drawer on the counter and turned quickly, immediately finding my face mere inches from Cas’. I sucked in a breath, noting that we hadn’t been this close in a long time. Panic began to rise in my chest as his eyes widened.

“I-i’m sorry Dean, I misjudged how close I was to you,” He stammered out, immediately backing away. I let out the breath I was holding before I shook my head.

“Don't worry about it. I’m the one who should be sorry, I ran into you,” I chuckled, quickly moving to stir the beans before they overcooked. 

He nodded before continuing around the kitchen expertly. He pulled out other ingredients for the burritos.

I watched him from the corner of my eye, pulling things from cabinets, he didn’t even have to think about it. I felt my chest tighten. Questions began to swirl around in my head.

Is this just unconscious muscle memory? 

Did he snoop around my kitchen when I wasn’t looking?

Did Nova show him the ropes?

Is he remembering more than he’s letting on?

As that last question settled in my mind I turned to him fully, unabashedly watching him. He put down the knife he was using to chop tomatoes and olives and turned to me.

“Is there something you need, Dean?” He asked, looking me in the eye. I thought for a second, assessing my options, and shook my head no.

“It can wait,” was all I said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! R&R please!
> 
> ~I’m so sorry T-T I’m in a play as an actor as well as costume designer and Assistant Director so that takes up three hours after school and then hours of homework because I go to a college prep high school so I don’t know what time or sleep is. 
> 
> ~Cinnamon


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I suck at updating! Where did the first two months of the year go? I've been so busy these past 5 months with balancing a musical production and school that I didn't find the time to write or get this edited within an appropriate amount of time. I'm so sorry again! Without further ado, chapter 13!

Dean POV

“Nova! Dinner is ready!” I called, helping Cas set the table. The familiar sound of her running down the stairs soon followed. She appeared in the kitchen doorway, excitement written on her features.

“Fooooooood!” she exclaimed, plopping into her seat as I set the beans on the table.

“Burritos!” I exclaimed as her eyes widened at the food making rings on the table.

“Thank you Daddy! Thank you Cas!” She said as Cas helped her get her plate together.

“So, Nova, what did you do in class today?” I knew that was a loaded question, since once Nova got started she would continue on and on and on and on. Nova adored Ms. Spruce, her lively and engaging third grade teacher who had a knack for explaining all the concepts I myself had struggled with at my daughter’s age, though it certainly helped that Science was already one of Nova’s favorite subjects. I didn’t want to supply the dialogue this time, too much was going through my mind that I couldn’t say. Everything from the way Nova spoke to the things she spoke about, was growing more and more clever by the day. Though I’d have to be hard pressed to admit it I was starting to have a hard time keeping up with her, and I was prouder than anything. I knew she was going to go a lot further than I did in school. In fact, I counted on it. My little Supernova was going to achieve everything she could possibly want in life, the moon and stars and endless galaxies.

“Ooo! We had a science day today! Remember how we had to bring in old crayons? We got to stick our crayons to a huge canvas and melt them! She was talking about how matter has reversible changes and irreversible changes. She had us hypothesize what would happen and I was one of the only ones who guessed correctly!”

Nova went on about her day all throughout dinner. She was so wrapped up in her explanation I had to remind her to actually eat her dinner more than once. Cas and I laughed at the wild stories that came along with the experiment that had taken place in her class that day, and simply enjoyed the moment for what it was. There may be a few pieces missing but there was still the feeling of belonging that neither Cas nor myself felt ready to speak up about. For this one brief moment in time, I wanted to pretend things were as they had been before Cas disappeared.

“Okay Nova, have you gotten all of your homework done?” I asked when she was finished explaining her day and chatting with Cas.

“No Dad, I’ve got a little bit left,” She replied, taking the last bite of her burrito.

“Why don’t you go and finish it while I grab the dishes?” I suggested. Nova smiled and nodded, picking up her plate and taking it to the kitchen before dashing upstairs to finish what she had left.

I stood up with my plate and reached for Cas’ only to be stopped by him grabbing it himself.

“I can help with the dishes, Dean,” He said as he made his way to the kitchen before I could object. I sighed and picked up some other empty dishes before joining him.

I walked in to see him putting dishes away from the dishwasher with the same practiced ease as before. I bit my tongue and went back out to collect the rest of the things from the table. He was done unloading when I came back. I took my place at the sink and began rinsing dishes and plates while he loaded them into the dishwasher.

“You find where to put everything away okay?” I asked nonchalantly, handing him a glass.

“Yes, Dean. I’ve been in your kitchen before,” He replied.

“Then you’ll know where the alcohol is. Do you want something?”

~Cas POV~

As Dean turned towards the liquor cabinet, I tried not to think about how achingly familiar Dean felt to me. From the curve of his brow to the spread of his shoulders, I knew that at one point I must have spent years memorizing each and every part of this man.

It struck me as two glasses were placed carefully on the counter that I haven’t really had a home cooked meal with anyone but myself since what I assumed was before I lost my memory. And my family.

Dean handed over the glass that had been filled near the point of overflowing with the dark amber liquid, grinning before saying “You know, according to chemistry, whiskey is a solution,”

“It’s only a solution if you’re an alcoholic, Dean,” I replied snarkily, taking the glass with a smirk before enjoying it’s taste. Dean laughed somewhat bitterly before taking a swing of his own glass.

He poured another round, and I thought about how it felt for me to be with Dean and Nova. I compared it to all the nights I spent alone. This time I slowly sipped my drink and realized that even if I hadn’t lost my memory and our lives had never crossed paths before, I still would have been drawn towards Dean.

“You shouldn't pour me another one, I don’t think. I have to drive home tonight,” I laughed as I finished off the last of the drink. Dean nodded and put the bottle back up in the cabinet and the glasses in the sink. He then walked me to the door, reaching past me and over my shoulder to open it before I could. For the briefest moment I entertained the thought that if I leaned back or he leaned forward we’d be pressed up against each other. Realizing I’d frozen up if only for a second, I hurriedly collected myself. I felt like a fumbling teenager and I didn’t know how I felt about that.

“Drive safe, yeah?” He said, a small smile gracing his features as he shifted to lean against the door frame.

“I will, thank you Dean,” I replied, waving goodbye as I made my way down the front steps to my car. I felt his eyes on me the whole way to my car. Only once I got into my car did I see the light from the entryway disappear. A small part of me wanted to stay in this warm, inviting house rather than going back to my lonely and most definitely freezing apartment. Recently I had found myself coming here more than my own place. This felt more like home than anything my apartment had to offer me.

I started the engine, allowing the car to heat up a bit before driving into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I’ll do better in the coming months to post more frequently, I know how much it sucks waiting for an update. Please show your love through commenting and such, I promise I see everything (I’ll be doing a shout out on tumblr soon!) and I reply back to your comments. Love you all!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Here is her account! (Give her stories a read while you're there)
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/CallousMalice


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